Is it just a hip flexor? Is it a hip hinge when you sit? What about when you turn at the hip? How do you move your head from side to side? What about your neck? How does it all fit together?
When you are trying to learn about your body it is quite important to focus on the details. You will be amazed what you discover.
I want you to understand that you have not a monopoly on any kind of “bad behavior”—you can be as irresponsible, as narcissistic, as callous, as exploitative or as self-absorbed as you like—but you have the ability and responsibility to choose better. I want you to know that even though you may be a “good” person from a certain point of view, if you do not understand the consequences of your behavior there will ultimately be consequences. When your heart is too heavy to go on fighting because some one else has “earned it”—and your father was the one who did and said, “I’m going to pay for that,” and I could not do anything to hold him to it, I wanted to say, Don’t be so stupid for me!—but your heart has been too heavy to move on when that person is telling you that you must do this and it’s too good to stop because someone else has earned it, for I too could not do anything to stop him when he was trying to take your money. I want you to know that even though you may feel like a broken person and think about making yourself smaller or more distant, there is still a world of possibility for you. There is still a world of possibility that can be there, if you go out, try new things, and get your head around your responsibility. Because if you do the right stuff and you try hard enough, there is still a future for you—something that no amount of “good behavior” can take away, even if it’s hard, it’s hard in a certain way in a certain way—even if you’re in the most dysfunctional relationship of your life with your best friend, the only person you have ever felt genuinely cared about, and she just turns around and tells you to kill yourself.
Don’t tell me I don’t love you (but maybe I really did…I’ve not thought this over very much…):
I can’t help you from loving yourself; I’m not good, I’ve learned that too many times. When you’re trying to learn to love yourself as your
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