We don’t know… and we can’t ask the question because this is a federal regulation. The EPA doesn’t want us to, and they really hate hearing from consumers who know more about ventriloquism.
The EPA doesn’t want you to know the answer to that question or know if this is safe for human ingestion in the first place, because the answer is unknown. And as we’re now hearing, it’s very possibly dangerous in some cases, in some cases deadly for a small child, too.
So how much does a ventriloquist dummy cost? Well, the EPA offers some numbers but they’re not what folks usually want to hear. I mean, let’s make it clear. We actually don’t know how much some dummies can cost. I think I understand the logic of the EPA’s argument, I was raised not to pay much attention to the cost of things. But now I’m a little more curious in this case.
It turns out that ventriloquists are the first to tell you that the cost of their services is something they can’t really give prices. According to the EPA’s own website, most of their prices are “based on the number of mouths you use.” (emphasis mine).
But let’s be clear here. The cost of that initial consultation with a ventriloquist dummy is not what a ventriloquist sells you. And a ventriloquist’s fee is not the price of the actual services they perform — even though, just like many medical services, they are offered on a sliding scale. The price of a ventriloquist’s services is not typically something the person getting it pays out of pocket — in other words, you pay and he gets paid. That is the EPA’s cost of the services.
Now, there’s no way to predict that the price of the dummy depends on what the person is willing to pay. But it is reasonable to extrapolate that one dummy might cost $20,000 or more in total but may only have a few dozen customers. If you’re really good, you can get a lot for a very little.
So how much is that cost? Well, a ventriloquist can earn an average of 20 cents a minute or about $1,100 a month.
Well, that’s less than our average mortgage payment. That’s what I had to pay in the bank in order to obtain our first home without taking out a loan. And
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